You & Us

All these moments
Swell up in my heart
They make me
They remake me
And I praise God above

I feel it
Synced with that beating
In my chest
I'll look back on this
When I'm old
When I'm fulfilled
And I'll love completely
And I'll know fully
That my life was great

Time On My Mind

I'm sinking deeply,
Falling wholly,
Crashing sharply,
Breaking slowly

Minds eye.
Minds memory.
Bring me back,
to that pain.
That fear.
Time, stalling, motion, aftermath

"and you run & you run to catch up with the sun but it's sinking. Racing around to come up behind you again.."

One, Two, Three

Quiet, blissful, glorious morning
my two love each other,
as they love me

Calm, wonderful, joyful life
I am forever grateful for the hand that I hold

Three silent, breathing bodies
One as strong as a mountain
Two as beautiful as a sunset
Three as loving as a mother

I Love You
I Love You both

I Hope Your Fat

I drove by your house today,
Killing some time,
Trying to put my son to sleep,
and I thought to myself,
"This won't bother me"
"It was too long ago"
It was so long ago...

But it must,
and I knew it did,
when I felt a big, rolling, hard sorrow build right inside my chest.

Your ugly house is still fucking ugly.

I hope your really unsuccessful.

I hope your wife left you because your a closed off, ignorant, abusive, drug fucked weirdo

or better yet,

you've never been loved.

& I hope your fat.

.........You always hated that

For my Family

May God lift your soul,
Into his arms,
clutch you to his chest,
and love you forever,
the way you have been loved,
here on earth.

May God be with my family,
In the dark of this day,
be near,
be close,
be in their hearts & minds.

Tears will fall,
goodbyes will follow,
and 5 will be 4 for a while.

But there is heaven,
and there is hope.
Hope in loss,
hope in death,
hope in the strength of love.

Here is my prayer,
as I think of you today.
Be light,
be free,
be close,
and be loved.

Always loved....
because there is always love.

A Prayer for the Weak

Why did you plant this horrible seed in my heart?
Why did you have to hurt me?
Be impatient with me?
Teach me sadness?
Teach me rage?

Why didn't you tell me you loved me?
Why didn't you help me?
Why did you mock me, harass me, envy me & trick me

I can't seem to break this chain
I can't seem to make a trail to blaze

These days are like battle grounds slowly forming their own future, a future I DON'T WANT a future I MUST AVOID a future THAT'S NOT MINE a life I DON'T WANT a legacy I CAN'T BEGIN

Please Lord God, please, please, help me to be a different me

Please murder this pattern, this broken heart, this impatient need for satisfaction

Please smite this anger, this hate, this judgment, this selfishness

Please Lord, please

Please hear me

Please help me

Please

Back to the Start

how do I feel?
how will I know?
when is the time?
who say's it's so?

The tide will come in
my dear little dove
something will die
as life's just begun